How do I love thee?

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways....

I love thee agreeably - enough to let your stinky doghide on the bed after a
run through the damp leaves, mud and slug infested garden.

I love thee steadfastly - enough to devote a year to raising you from a wobbly
speck into a strong healthy adult (who promptly attempts to seize control)

I love thee passionately - despite your repeated efforts to probe my ears, eyes
and mouth with the same tongue you use for various other atrocities.

I love thee well - despite the amazing odours that you produce.

I love thee deeply - though you use me as a napkin at every opportunity

I love the madly - despite the various bodily functions you have performed
at inappropriate moments - ina inappropriate places.

I love thee constantly - despite the dog "bladder curfew" I have lived by for
16 years.

I love thee truly - despite the "doggie landmine" hidden in the grass.

I love thee absolutely - because you never (well hardly ever) hog the remote
control.

I love thee gratefully - because you stay by my side (or on my side).

I love thee devotedly - more than clean carpeting, clothing, furniture, floors
or walls.

I love thee bravely - enough to battle the indomitable flea on your behalf.

I love thee momentarily - enouth to put the vet's children through college.

I love thee openly - I will bear any embarrassment on your furry behalf.

I love thee totally - more than free time or excess cash or a predictable life.